Frustration, Climbing and Relationships
Steph:
First, thanks very much for your blog, it’s a joy to read. You are such an inspiration, especially as I’m working out what to do with my life, how to balance work/life, etc.
With regards to the Frustation post in general, I found one line especially hitting close to home for me: “One thing about climbing is that it’s often a magnifying glass for things you are experiencing in your life.” Virtually all the time, either on the rock or at the rock gym, I am able to detach from the rest of my life – I’m fully at peace, it’s my moment of zen (with apologies to Jon Stewart!).
Recently, I had a relationship end (of close to 2 years). We met through climbing, in fact. But we were not good climbing partners, in my opinion, as we weren’t able to communicate effectively (praise, guidance, etc.) with the other person. And yet she wanted to climb with me all the time – I didn’t, seeing our problems were making climbing less fun for me. And the fact that I felt like I was letting her down if we didn’t always climb together (we talked about this and resolved it) would put a damper on even setting up any climbing trips. Eventually, we pulled away from climbing together, and later than that, pulled away from the relationship entirely.
This is really a long winded way of saying that while before I would have disagreed about your comment regarding the magnifying glass, I wholeheartedly agree now. Climbing is one of those activities that can expose flaws and cracks in a relationship, and hopefully we are smart enough to see and fix them before they attack the foundation. And some romantic partners climb well together, and some should never be on opposite ends of the same rope!
Best,
Brian
Dear Brian,
Thanks for this honest and enlightening story. It’s especially interesting to me, because I have heard the feelings of many girls on the other end of the rope in a similar story, so it’s really nice to hear your perspective.
I guess the good thing about living through a rough relationship is that it shows you what does work for you and it also makes you so much more appreciative when you do find yourself in the right relationship with the right person. I’m sure that you and your ex are going to be happier in the future, and better for the experience of trying so hard together, though it wasn’t easy.
Thanks again for writing,
Steph
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http://hypnosisselfhelpmp3.com/self-hypnosis-online-pure-heart-simple-mind-newsletter-vol-5-no-21-appreciative-relationships-help-resolve-conflict-100.php Self Hypnosis Online – Pure Heart, Simple Mind Newsletter, Vol.5, No. 21. Appreciative Relationships Help Resolve Conflict
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Holly
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Steph Davis
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Holly
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