How to Pee in a Harness, Not On It

Hi Steph,
How are you doing these days? I’m wondering if you could offer your insights- what’s the most skillful way to pee in a harness, (let’s say, several pitches up with a full rack on) without soiling yourself or your gear? Lots of remote backpacking trips and kayaking trips have never posed a problem- but this one has given rise to a few close calls! I’m reticent to consider a pee funnel. (one less thing to bring)
Thanks,
Emily

Super-Yummy Crag Cookies
1 1/4 c chickpeas
1/2 c + 2 tbsp. peanut or almond butter
1/4 c honey (or could substitute brown rice syrup/maple, though I have yet to try it)
1 tsp GF baking powder
pinch salt

Mash chickpeas with a potato masher to get it started. Blend in high-powered blender or use immersion blender till you reach a hummus consistency.
Add in 1/2 c dark choc chips
With wet hands, form into small balls, about the size of a loonie. Press down with your fingers. (ungreased pan)
Bake at 350 for 10 min. Makes 1 dozen-ish. They freeze well, but disappear fast.

Hi Emily, thanks for the recipe: I can’t wait to try these because I really like making chickpeas with my pressure cooker 🙂 I will definitely sub the maple syrup, and I’m sure it will be great.

It only took me 10 years to figure out that it’s ludicrously easy to pee when in a climbing harness, depending on how many layers you’re wearing: I used to unhook the legstrap holder and it was nearly impossible to rehook it while reaching behind myself. One day I discovered that elastic stretches (revelation!!) and all I had to do was undo my pants, pull them down, and the elastic just stretched. Seriously. The hardest thing in climbing just became the easiest thing. It only took me a decade to notice that elastic stretches….but in my defense no one ever pointed this out to me before. I have shared this magical secret with many other girls, and all have told me it has changed their lives too 🙂
21 baffin ledges
With regards to pee funnels….I was never sold on them. There are times when they seem like a good idea. When you are in a portaledge with a fly, it may seem like a good idea not to have to open the fly when it’s snowing or raining. But….when you consider how small this space is, the fact that you’re most likely in there with someone else, AND the consequences for error, you will almost certainly decide it’s worth getting snowed on for 30 seconds to go off the edge. If you are ice climbing or skiing and you have a lot of clothing on, you may also be tempted by a pee funnel. You will undoubtedly blow off practicing with it in advance, and when the moment comes and you realize that the consequences for error are truly dire, you will probably bail on it and deal with the old stand-by method. There is one situation where I have learned the value of a funnel, and that’s in a snow cave. In a snow cave you have nothing but time, and you can actually drop your pants all the way down if you’re gripped. The other option is putting on all your clothes, rain gear, AND boots (which have to be laced up to not get full of snow) and crawling out of the snow cave and then dealing with undoing everything to pee. In this case, the funnel and a bottle is absolutely worth it and will make your life immeasurably better.

Guys who are reading this, we would be mad at you for having a built-in if we hadn’t seen it get pinched in legloops with horrible consequences. So as with everything, it all evens out in the end.
🙂 Steph


18 responses to “How to Pee in a Harness, Not On It”

  1. rockgrrl says:

    My leg loops stretch a bit too much now I think (time for a new one?). I did a review on pee funnels, practice is key and makes using them in the wild much easier. http://www.rockgrrl.com/blog/2010/08/a-girls-gotta-pee-fuds-review-freshette-and-gogirl/

  2. Allie Richards Downey says:

    Awesome tip! I used to have an pee funnel that worked pretty well… one day the hose got kinked and I didn’t know it until it was to late :/ I don’t use pee funnels anymore.

  3. Katie Paulson says:

    I personally use a pee funnel when it’s not inconvenient to carry. I regularly use it without having to take my pants down. Very handy when there’s nothing to duck behind, it’s cold, or someone you’re with is squicked out by seeing you pee 🙂 only takes a little practice!

  4. Mandy says:

    Used a pee funnel (“Freelax” brans) for years now, but only day cragging or easy multipitch, because yes, it helps to have a fly, or stretchy underwear. The only accident I had was on an ice-climbing day; too many layers. and YES practice at home in the shower first!

  5. skippy409 says:

    Did anyone notice that immediately following Emily’s query is a cookie recipe with “chickpeas” as its main ingredient?!!! I think that’s funny, if not clever. Just haul the rest of the ingredients to the crag and, voila!, you’ll have the freshest snack around 🙂 (I suppose someone’ll have to bring the easy-bake oven, though…)

  6. Mandy says:

    It’s actually the pStyle brand, available on amazon or from facebook/krista’s cups. I never had a problem with it although I am a lean woman and don’t need much ‘reach’ for the pointy end to exit my drawers. I highly recommend the pStyle.

  7. steph davis says:

    that was the issue with mine (I think it’s a Freshette or Lady J?)–the tube slides into the funnel for storage, but if you bend the tube at all (in/around clothing) there’s no seal and things go downhill

  8. steph davis says:

    you have mastered it 🙂

  9. steph davis says:

    I haven’t seen that one before, curious to check it out 🙂

  10. MeganM says:

    In retrospect, it is a very obvious solution but one that I never would have conjured up by myself. I now routinely pee with my harness fully on thanks to the magic of elastic. The real trick is holding my hula-skirt of gear and slings out of the way (pretend like they are an actual skirt and it works about the same).

  11. Relieved Climber says:

    I’ll chime in with a note that I knew about the stretchy tip, having discovered it on my own. I figured everyone else must know about this but me until I didn’t quite get my pants out of the way and accidentally soiled myself a wee bit . This made for a very humbling experience at the crag since I had no way to leave and no spare bottoms. I have been petrified of making that mistake again.
    I also have a freshette and have practiced in the shower with great results but have either forgotten it or not been brave enough to test it in the wild after the above incident. I suppose in desperation one of these will have to be considered but thankfully, no big walls have been on my agenda and the old fashioned practice has tended to suffice. Although, if I could get the stretchy thing to work with out soiling myself, again, I’d probably be more comfortable on longer climbs/mountainous hikes. 🙂
    Thanks for sharing. I have always wondered how women have managed.

  12. Tara Reynvaan says:

    This has changed my life. At the time, taking my harness off on the Romantic Warrior ledge seemed completely reasonable due to leg loops that featured a double-back buckle attachment. I can confidently say that I’m far less likely to die while peeing after reading this.

  13. steph davis says:

    🙂 an age old dilemma…

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